Coercive Control Intensive Trainings
Dr. Ellerman offers intensive trainings on the coercive control model for survivors and professionals. Participants gain a vastly expanded understanding of how abusers control survivors and their children within the home and other settings. They will gain a big picture understanding of how abusers manipulate systems and use gender bias and stereotypes to silence survivors. They will also learn about the micro-level, with a detailed knowledge of abusers’ tactics against adult and child victims, how the tactics work, and how survivors are impacted.
She is also offering 3-hour trainings for women experiencing coercive control.
“I recently had the opportunity to take Mei-Ling Ellerman’s course on coercive control, and I cannot recommend it enough for survivors of domestic violence. This course is incredibly insightful, breaking down the complexities of coercive control in a way that is both educational and empowering. Mei-Ling’s expertise and compassionate approach provide a safe space to understand the patterns of abuse that often go unnoticed but have lasting impacts.
For survivors, this course is not just informative it’s validating. It sheds light on the psychological and emotional aspects of abuse, helping individuals recognize the signs and reclaim their power. Most importantly, it highlights the significance of the new coercive control law, which is a critical step in protecting survivors from further violence and holding abusers accountable.
If you or someone you know has experienced domestic violence, I highly recommend taking this course. The knowledge gained here can truly be life-changing. Thank you, Mei-Ling, for your dedication to advocating for and educating survivors!” --N
Testimonials
“This workshop is filled with concise, clear material that helped me with personal healing, as well as, strategizing boundaries for myself as I limit my relationship with my ex/ the father of my children. Mei-Ling’s compilation of material reflects hours of her work and was compelling for waking me from my stupor that “it is fine” or “not so bad.” Please take this course. It’s important for us to wake up to the power inequality that has produced coercive control in the toolbox of too many domestic relationships. I needed this course and am still digesting all that I learned!” --J.
“The coercive control training was worthwhile for me. It validated a lot of what I’ve been through and helped me pick up on behaviors that I didn’t realize fit into the larger pattern. It also put new things on my radar, especially about what my children have gone through, and offered concrete ways to support their healing and build skills around critical thinking. Some of the material is heavy and it takes something out of you to go that deep, but Mei-Ling delivers it in a calm, clear way, which helped. I learned some tips on how to use what I learned to frame my narrative for court. Mei-Ling is very organized and well researched and I have already been referring back to the slides she prepared. She is responsive to participants’ contributions, requests for what to cover in the training, and even requests outside of the training. I admire her using her skill set to contribute to the evidence base around coercive control so that there will be more recent publications for women to cite. —A”
One Day Training
This is a 3 hour training created for women whose current or former partners are abusive and controlling. It will explain the coercive control model, the many varied forms of abuse and control used against women, and the impacts. I will also discuss the favored tactics used by abusers post-separation, DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender) and allegations of parental alienation. The training will give you a foundation for understanding your experiences, the tactics that have been used against you, and how this changes post-separation.
Because there is so much to fit into 3 hours, this will be a lecture format without a Q&A or participatory exercises (which the 3-day training does have). You will also receive a list of forms of coercive control with definitions and examples, which you can use to go back and compare with your own (and your children’s) experiences to create a narrative.
The first 1 day training will be on Saturday April 26th from 3-6pm.
(If you cannot attend, but are interested in other days/times, please contact me directly at dvresearchadvocacy@gmail.com)
1 Day Training Fee: $200
Coercive Control Intensive Training for Protective Mothers
Intensive Training on May 27, 28, 30
Note: The May 2025 live online training will be held during school hours, please check the hours for each day as they differ. I will send the zoom link to participants ahead of time before each day of training. If time allows, I will stay an additional 20 minutes afterwards Wednesday and Friday to answer questions/have a discussion.
Tuesday, May 27, 9-1:30pm (including 1/2 hr. lunch break)
Wednesday, May 28, 10-12 noon
Friday, May 30, 9-1:30pm (including 1/2 hr. lunch break)
May 27 Day 1: Coercive Control over the Protective Parent
This training will introduce the model of coercive control and an overview of how it progresses as abusive partners gains further control over their adult and child victims, their lives, autonomy, and decision-making. We will take a deep dive into the many forms of coercive control used over protective mothers, how they work, and the impacts. You will learn about how abusive partners use various forms of psychological abuse, isolation, fear, intimidation, and other tactics to confuse the mother and disguise the coercive control. They entrap, confuse, and traumatize their targets, and cut off the resources that would help the survivors to escape. We will study how multiple forms of coercive control are used to harm the survivors, to increasingly take away their independence and sense of safety, and coerce them to fall in line with what the abuser wants.
May 28 Day 2: Understanding How Abusers Manipulate Systems to Discredit and Silence Protective Parents
This training will focus on post-separation abuse, and how abusers use tactics such as DARVO, allegations of parental alienation, and draw upon gender stereotypes within different instutitions such as the courts or schools, to discredit and silence protective mothers, while they continue their abuse and control. I will introduce one of my own new concepts that is useful in capturing these dynamics. The coercive control framework can explain how abusers wield certain tactics post-separation in order to continue their abuse. We will study how abusers are often “invisible” to the systems, while their victims are blamed regardless of whether they stay or leave, which then elevates their risk of losing custody. We will also learn about the specific harms, including the signs of trauma.
May30 Day 3: Coercive Control over the Children
For this training, we will study how an abusive parent’s tactics are used against the children, both pre- and post-separation. We will study how the forms of abuse and control may change significantly post-separation, such as the role of psychological abuse and undermining parent-child relations to isolate both the child and protective parent. Many participants’ children will feel torn between the abusive and protective parent, may not recognize the truth, or may side with the abuser. I will also teach about children’s signs of trauma, the risks that the abuser presents, and will talk about how to support children who have experienced coercive control, as well as ways to support healing of trauma. I will review aspects of the law pertinent to custody and coercive control, which protective mothers should be aware of for their court cases.
A coercive control framework is essential to explain how abusers can present themselves and be accepted as seemingly protective and involved parents. The picture becomes more complex because post-separation, the abusive parent tends to control the children in multiple venues, including his home. Once the participants learn how to identify their children’s experiences, it becomes more apparent how the children are direct victims of coercive control. It will become clear how coercive control over the mother and children is closely linked, and how increased control over the children is used to prevent the safe parent from speaking out and protecting them.
11 Hour Training fee: $645
Why is this particular training only for mothers?
The majority of adult survivors and caregivers are women. Mothers are particularly vulnerable to coercive control, especially when they share custody with their abuser. While abusers often practice coercive control directly over the children, it is seldom recognized for what it is, and protective parents often end up blamed for the abuse and their children’s trauma responses. Coercive control over children is a new field, and is not well understood within the court system. Therefore, educating women survivors is critical, so they can in turn educate the courts and others about how they and their children have been abused and controlled.
What is coercive control and why is it essential to understand it?
Coercive control describes how abusive individuals control their victims and use fear, isolation, intimidation, threats, psychological control, and other tactics to coerce them to do what the abusers want. Some of the categories of abuse may include: psychological abuse, financial abuse, legal abuse, immigration abuse, physical or sexual abuse, faith-based/spiritual abuse, animal abuse, and medical abuse. Abusers try to control aspects of their victims’ day-to-day lives and decision-making. They may try to control anything from how their victims care for their children to how they dress, talk, eat, have sex, sleep, work, move through the house, clean, drive, shop, or spend money.
Children are directly affected by coercive control, and almost every tactic used against an adult can also be used against children. Once survivors escape an abusive relationship, abusers often turn to controlling their children in order to keep the protective parent fearful and silent. Survivors need to know how to identify and describe the complicated tactics that are used against them and their children.
What will participants learn in this training, and what can the coercive control model explain?
I will teach participants about all the forms of coercive control I cover in my expert reports and more. They can use and adapt the structure of my reports for their own needs.
Participants will receive a list of references, related to the different forms of abuse and control, which they can use to back up their narratives.
Participants will receive the detailed powerpoint from each training plus a list of forms of coercive control.
Survivors will become familiar with the coercive control model, and will be able to use their new knowledge to frame their and their children’s experiences of abuse and control. One day will be dedicated to coercive control over children.
Participants will learn about how and why coercive control changes from the start of the relationship, through pregnancy/motherhood, till separation. They will learn why abusive parents tend to present themselves differently post-separation, and how they use different systems and tactics to continue to control their adult and child victims.
Because of the continued trauma and victim-blaming, it takes survivors a long time to untangle and identify the many ways in which they’ve been coercively controlled. This training will rapidly accelerate participants’ ability to understand and articulate their own experiences, in essence, they are training to become their own experts.
Participants will learn in great detail about the many tactics and forms of coercive control, and how they work, so they will also be able to recognize new tactics as they appear. Survivors can take what they have learned from the training, and work on their own to create a detailed linear narrative of the coercive control, which they can use to advocate for themselves in different situations.
The trainings will be taught live over zoom to a limited group of participants and will not be recorded for safety purposes. A portion of the fee for the training will go towards funding coercive control research, education, and advocacy efforts. Dr. Ellerman will teach you about all the forms of coercive control she includes in her expert reports, which take several weeks to write. For the equivalent cost of hiring a lawyer or expert for 1-2 hours, participants will have 11 hours of training, and will gain a solid, practical, and detailed foundation in coercive control that they can then use to educate, advocate, protect, and heal.
When are the trainings? May 27, 28, 30, and June 10, 11, 13.
How do I sign up for the training? Please fill out the Google form at the bottom of the page.
Link to Google Form to Sign Up for Coercive Control Intensive Training for Protective Mothers
FAQs for Intensive Training
Safety and Participation: The trainings for protective mothers are restricted to 22 participants, and will be taught live for safety reasons. Each participant is asked to fill out a brief survey which will gather information about their interests and which will help screen out those who are not protective mothers. Participants will be asked to keep their cameras on during the training. For the safety of the participants, the live trainings will not be recorded. Participants will have a chance to ask questions during the trainings and will receive the detailed powerpoint slides.
Do you offer scholarships? Yes, I want my trainings to be accessible, so I will offer three full scholarships per training for protective mothers who earn under $30,000/year. Please write to me directly about the scholarships.
How many trainings will you offer this year? I will likely give between 6-10 trainings over the next year, depending on the demands of my research.
FAQs for 1 Day Training
This 3-hour training will not be recorded, it will be taught live over zoom. Because of the packed training, there will be no Q&A. The number of participants is limited to 75.
I offer a few scholarship spots for this training for women who are earning under $30k a year, as well as a few 50% off spots for women who may earn over $30k/year but have challenging financial circumstances due to legal abuse. Please contact me directly.